Toronto metro jam, ya right, gay weddings are better

Jay Miron said if I ever come to Toronto to Metro Jam he is gonna punch me in the stomach. Maybe ’cause he is sore that I puked in his van—wow, sorry about that. You don’t realize how many little spaces are in your van till puke is sent out of your mouth at the driver. Sorry again

Well I finally made it to Toronto, not in the winter for Metro Jam (too cold for my Florida self). This was for my sister-in-law’s wedding. See, the US doesn’t recognize or support gay marriages. Canada just started to, so where else to have a wedding, Toronto. It just so happened to be a huge gay festival. Someone told me over a million people showed up. Our hotel was one block from all the chaos.

The first thing I noticed getting into our hotel was the recycle bin. Canada has serious support for the earth, plus they can make a ton of money off the people who stay in the rooms. The recycle amount is nuts, specially since our bin was full each night with adult beverages. The second thing that is sweet and the US needs to follow, no High Fructose Corn Syrup in anything. If you don’t know what that is, figure it out and connect the dots. You don’t need that crap, or do you?

So we start walking the streets and the first person we see is a girl with big boobs, naked, well it turns out she is a he and wanted to show off the new addition to his body [check the pic]. We fit in pretty well, seeing as we brought some afro wigs, tight “hell ya” shorts and some accessories. I am not gay, but gay people have way too much fun, it was nuts, literally. The stray pic is a guy I saw cutting a sheet of plywood with a hand saw [check pic]. Way too funny and way to much work during the gay weekend.

All in all it was an amazing trip, congrats to my sister-in-law for taking the step, and not being afraid of her ways, and thanks to Canada for being sweet. If Metro Jam is in Toronto this year I will be there ready for the punch in the gut. That will get me ready for my plunge over the Niagara Falls I have planned late next year… stay tuned.

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